Reruns

It's 2 am and I am watching a rerun of Roseanne. If I am awake at 2 am, I always watch Roseanne, even if it is one from the last season when they completely jumped the shark. I watch because of my mom.

She loved Roseanne. She identified with her. She also saw me as a real life equivalent of the character Darlene (which actually was my mom's name). I think she may have been right about that and a lot of other things. I miss my mom and I wish life had reruns you could play when you miss someone who has passed, but it doesn't. So I watch reruns of Roseanne.

A quick note to Facebook users

Dear Users of Facebook;


Facebook is not planning on becoming a paid site. There is no special education week . Most of those shocking videos are scams or viruses . Copy and paste statuses are rarely interesting or pertinent. Furthermore, writing happy birthday to your child as your Facebook status when your child is not even on Facebook just tells me you want attention. All those quizzes you do that tell you that if you were a wine, you'd be a MD40/40 and if you lived in the Harry Potter universe, you'd be a troll are not only extremely annoying, but are also an easy way for hackers to get enough personal information on you to steal your identity . Liking a lot of pages does not make you interesting. Posting a quote every so often is okay, but if you have nothing original to say ever, maybe you should log off and try this new 3D experience called "having a life."

Short Poem

This is a short poem I left on someone's Facebook wall.

Sleep and head into Nod
See the words fly
Away from the poet,
The musician, the writer
Chasing them like
...The ice cream trucks
Of Youth

Catch your words
Hold them tight
As you dream back to reality

Bad Parenting Advice

Parenting Tips

1. Lying is good. Always. Lie as often as possible to your children, they need to learn to detect lies as early as possible in order to deal with the real world.


2. Children are stupid. They will believe anything you tell them and have no cognative abilities.


3. Only build up hope in your children if you can crush it later. Tell little Snauflayke that she is the best singer in the world (even though she's tone deaf). Enter her into a talent competition and laugh when she doesn't make the second round.


4. Spoil your children, they deserve every cent spent on them and they should grow up feeling entitled. How else will they get a reality show?


5. Children who kick and bite others are a joy to be around. Encourage your children to explore their world with their teeth.


6. Do your children's homework for them and ignore the teachers who say they need to learn grammar and math. They can always learn those things in college.


7. Your children will never do anything wrong despite your complete lack of moral fiber. Everything is obviously someone else's fault. Georgie wouldn't have hit the Jenny if she had not called him a name and the teacher had been paying better attention.


8. Television is an excellent, and cheap, babysitter. Use it early and often.


9. Learning social skills is overrated. We're all going to have android friends in a few years anyway.


10. The best way to stop a tantrum is candy, lots of candy. Also soda and cake.


11. A little nip of Jack Daniels, some tylenol, or cough syrup is an excellent way to get a child to sleep so you can have some quiet t-shirt time.*


12. The teachers at your child's school are nothing more than way overpaid babysitters; treat them as such.


13. Kids can survive for years on Milky Ways and Mountain Dew.


14. Teach your child that every event is clothing optional.

*YSaC reference of an adult nature.

Blarg.

Blarg blarg blarg shiznu blarg.

I won't bleed for you.

I cannot donate blood for medical reasons. I know many others who also, for various reasons, cannot or chose not to donate blood. Their reasons, and mine, are no one’s business. When blood drives are run on campus or at work, they and occasionally I are hounded by well meaning, but ignorant people. If you ask someone to donate blood and they politely decline, the correct response is to accept it, not to ask why not and try to challenge their objections.


When I was still at Pima, I watched a volunteer harass a classmate. She was walking towards me to start a study group and he got in front of her, telling (not asking, mind you, but telling) her to sign up to give blood. She politely said, “I’m sorry, I can’t.” He told her that was ridiculous. She responded, “It’s for medical reasons.” By this time, I was not happy and I walked towards them. He asked, “What medical reason?” She started to answer, but I interrupted, “It’s none of your business. Shame on you for harassing her.” I was given a death glare and asked if I had donated yet. I looked him straight in the eye and said, “No, and I am not going to donate and my reasons are none of your business.”

Now, I am in favor of blood drives. They do a lot of good and they save lives. If you can donate medically and it is not against your religion or views, then I encourage you to donate as often as you can. However, do not pressure anyone to donate or harass people because they do not or cannot do the same.

Most of you know that I work at a grocery store that is part of a large chain in Arizona and owned by a national chain. I worked on Memorial Day, which I didn't mind because I can use all the hours I can get during the summer break. We were busy because apparently it makes the most sense to do all your holiday shopping on the holiday in question. For the most part, our customers were polite, well mannered, fairly sane, and reasonably intelligent. There were, of course, exceptions.

We were sampling ribs, so we had our store grill out front being used to cook said ribs. Now I am sure that most of you know that when a grill is being used, it gets hot and it would not be a good idea to play around with it. We set cones up around the grill, but seeing as we do not have, "leave the grill alone, it is hot, stupid" cones, we used the ones that simply said caution and have the falling man on them. Most of our customers were smart enough to figure out that the cones meant that we did not want them to get too close to the grill when our grillmaster was not there to physically prevent them. However, we had a customer, a grown man, decide that since the cones did not specifically say to leave the grill alone that it meant he could start investigating it. I scared him off just as he was about to put his hand on the side to see "how hot it gets when you cook it." My coworkers said I should have let him burn himself, but I hate to see anyone, even the stupid, hurt themselves.

Later in my shift, I was in the lot grabbing carts when a customer approached me. He had a look on his face that I've seen before, the "I have a problem and I want it to be your problem" look. I took a breath and smiled like a good wage slave. I then had an interesting conversation with him, I'll call him Captain Idiot...

Captain Idiot : "Hey, my car is over there, the green truck, and if I turn it off, it won't start up again. I have to run in really quick to get something. Can you keep an eye on it?"

Me: "No, I can't. We can't be responsible for it."

Captain Idiot : "Don't you have a security guard or something?"

Me: "Yes, but he can't watch it for you either. We cannot be liable..."

Captain Idiot (interrupting me): "I won't hold you guys reliable"

Me (walking away): "It doesn't matter, sir, our policy is clear on this."

Captain Idiot (shouting as he walks into the store): "Sorry you have to work on Memorial Day!"


He was in the store for half an hour and when he came back out, his piece of junk was still there, running and wasting gas.