Tuesday, November 24, 2009

group effort

So Monday, we did a little class exercise. We each wrote a line or two and passed it around the class so that everyone wrote at least one line and then we wrote an ending. Some were pretty funny and I wish I could remember them or had copies to post here. The assignment we were given was to take these poems, such as they were, and revise them. The only caveat is that we had to leave at least *2* words from each person.

This is what I ended up with at school - The black text is mine and I will use a different text color for each person's contribution.


The azure sky was interrupted
A saffron burst of light
glared from afar, slightly blinded
each man standing along the bridge of burden
there be just a twinkle of fright
as it is undertaken, steadfast they stand
anxiously waiting for the reaper to grant them release
Firetruck, run over this concrete squirrel madness of city and rust
leave your men for burnt nights
Days are ablaze now, the city an ash of nothing
Burn down the very walls of my being
End me in a sheet of copper

This is what I revised it to for tomorrow

Schizophrenic Pyromania

Azure sky
Saffron burst
Glared blinded
Bridge of burden
Twinkle fright
Undertaken stand
Reaper release
Burnt nights
Days ablaze
City ash
Burn down
Sheets of copper
Bask nothingness

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