I don't like malls, never have and probably never will but since they are sometimes unavoidable, they should be fun. I have done some of the list below, but not all and I must warn you that several suggestions can lead to you being kicked out of the mall and possibly banned. Number one got me kicked out of a suburban Illinois mall and it's fairly tame.
Ways to have fun at the mall
1. Go up the down escalator and down the up escalator.
2. Have long talks with the mannequins. Extra points if you give them names, minus points if it’s the Old Navy mannequins.
3. Buy something at the food court, take a bite and throw it away, saying loudly “it’s not as good as human flesh.”
4. Dress like a Goth and carry signs protesting Emos in front of Hot Topic.
5. Wear a gorilla outfit and give random strangers singing telegrams that imply they may have contracted a venereal disease.
6. Sit on a bench and pretend to be driving it somewhere, if someone stares, ask if they need a lift.
7. Call out for your friend Harvey. If anyone offers to help you find Harvey, describe him as 6 foot tall and furry. (I love Jimmy Stewart movies.)
8. If there’s an elevator, get in at stare at the back wall (unless it’s a glass elevator, then stare at the buttons intensely) and don’t get off for at least half an hour.
9. Find an Emo and tell them to cheer up. Extra points if you sing them a happy song.
10. Ask people for directions to the store behind you. For example if you’re in front of Macy’s, ask “where’s Macy’s?” When they tell you it’s behind you, reply, “No, Macy’s” as if they’re mistaken.
11. During the seasonal picture opportunities, bring a doll or stuffed animal and insist they take a picture of Santa/Easter Bunny holding your “baby.”
12. Find an old person and start a conversation with them making sure at least half of your sentences start with “when I was your age.”
13. Get a group and play land Marco Polo. (One of my favorite games to play anywhere.)
14. Bring a children’s book and do a story time in the food court, reading out loud and showing the pictures. Bonus points if there are no children present. Super bonus points if you can get anyone to pay attention.