Wednesday, July 22, 2009

I found it!

So I guess I'm a little slow because I had a copy of the final draft in my school email (duh!) since I had to use Here's the final draft

Pizza Hut versus Magpies (take 2!)

Magpies Pizza and Pizza Hut sell freshly made pizza at a reasonable price. Magpies Pizza and Pizza Hut have websites featuring menus, nutritional information, and money saving coupons. Magpies Pizza and Pizza Hut have dine-in, pick-up and convenient delivery service. Magpies Pizza and Pizza Hut have locations in every major part of Tucson.

Magpies Pizza is a locally owned company that has easily won the Tucson Weekly's Annual "Best of Tucson" Best Pizza award nineteen times. Pizza Hut is a national franchise under the Yum Brands Inc. umbrella of questionable food choices. The Yum Brands Inc. includes such culinary atrocities as the greasy, understaffed Kentucky Fried Chicken, the nauseating Long John Silver's, and the E. coli haven Taco Bell.

Magpies Pizza delights the palate with their heavenly regular, scrumptious sourdough, and healthy wheat crusts to which cheese and herbs can be added. Sauces that can be added to the hand tossed crust at Magpies Pizza include the refreshing "House" pesto, the tantalizing spicy "Juan Carlos" pesto, the delicious tomato pesto, the uncompromising "House" red sauce and the simple yet satisfying olive oil and garlic. Pizza Hut disappoints with a choice of cardboard, thinner cardboard, undercooked biscuit dough, and undercooked biscuit dough with chunks of cheese crusts. The only sauce available at Pizza Hut is an overly sweet, conformist red tomato sauce.

Cheese is lovingly and generously applied at Magpies Pizza. Gooey mozzarella, fragrant feta, creamy ricotta, and hearty cheddar among others clamor for mastication. Light, soy or no cheese is an option for dietary concerns. Pizza Hut has a waxy cheese that employees take great care to distribute in the smallest possible portions. Ordering extra cheese is the only sure-fire way to have the entire pizza dusted with the cheese.

Magpies Pizza serves slices made to satiate Paul Bunya which take mozzarella cheese to a height normally reserved for the perfect grilled cheese sandwich. Pizza Hut serves personal pan pizzas that leave a toddler hungry cut into four triangular pieces. One of the four pieces will have all the cheese; the other three have only the doughy crust and the bright red sauce. These three pieces are reminiscent of used surgical sponges.

Magpies Pizza keeps a staff of happy, intelligent, caring individuals. Their dining rooms are cozy and brightly lit. Some locations feature butcher paper and crayons on the tables. Children and artistic adults have their tablecloth creations proudly displayed by the window in which the pizza dough can be seen being handmade. Pizza Hut keeps a staff of depressed mannequins on valium. Pizza Hut dining rooms are ten percent brighter than an underground cavern and have the atmosphere of a funeral for the guy in the office no one really liked. Children are occasionally tolerated by the wait staff. The kitchen is well secluded in an attempt to hide their gastronomical gaffes.

Saving ten box tops from Magpies Pizza will earn a free large pizza. The pizza toppings include over forty, mouthwatering, gourmet choices including squash, zucchini, and eggplant. Any pizza with that many vegetables qualifies as health food. Vegetarian choices abound. Saving ten box tops from Pizza Hut will earn an unfortunate smell in the house. A vegetarian must use care when ordering since the same cooking surfaces, utensils, and oils are often used for both meat and non-meat items as disclosed in the allergen information section on their website.

Delectable, robust calzones tantalize the taste buds year round at Magpies Pizza. Paired with any of the enticing sauces, or on their own, these pieces of heaven offer a suitable alternative to pizza that gets the filling to crust ratio exactly right. It feeds a small army or one hungry teenager. Calzones are occasionally proffered at Pizza Hut in two varieties; burnt and tasteless or doughy with sweat sock filling.

Ambrosial desserts can be had at Magpies Pizza. Sinfully creamy cheesecake, decadent tiramisu, scrumptious cinnamon swirls, and the heavenly almond cream cake all plead to be devoured. These homemade treats are worth an extra thirty minutes at the gym. Pizza hut offers baked cinnamon sticks. These "sticks" are basically their pizza dough formed into bread sticks, drowned in butter and suffocated with cinnamon, then baked in the same oven as the unsavory pizza which leaves them with an unappetizing aroma of cinnamon dusted pepperoni.

Ordering from Pizza Hut, available nationwide, guarantees the same tasting pizza whether in New York or California. Ordering from Magpies Pizza, available only in Tucson, guarantees a great tasting pizza.

1 comment:

  1. Okay, I'm still not sure which you prefer, could you help me out?